Best Secret Fanfiction Ever (well not so secret anymore)
by thebluepig08
Summary: SUMMARIES ARE FOR THE WEAK.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

What on earth?! Who the freaking hell are you? Who authorized you to read this? Who wrote this totally awesome-fantastic-over the top-hands down fanfic? Ehem.. Me of course. You dummy!

This is thebluepig08! So we all might know that my first attempt to write an awesome fanfic totally flopped. I admit it. And I also re-read the fanfic. I was mortified as hell! I almost pissed in my pants. I am truly sorry you had to suffer reading that piece of junk. It was so dramatic and too mushy-like. So yeah hopefully this second attempt will clear my dignity.

Before reading this fanfic, I prepared 10 safety precautions for you:

1. Safety precautions are for the weak

2. You are too old for precautions

3. You still won't be safe after reading this

4. You just missed number 4

5. You went back to check and saw how stupid you were to fall for that

7. Now you're staring at this and you're like " where the hell is number 6?"

6. It's right here stupid

8. Your now getting a chainsaw and warming it up to slice my body in half

9. I bet you'll be like "OMG! Grammer Nazi spotted" or " It's you're! not YOUR!"

10. You will be smiling like an idiot and say thebluepig08 is the bomb

11. You will freaking remember that this was supposed to be only up to 10

Thank you for your cooperation.

I the author, will not be responsible for any damages produced while reading this.

P.S. I bet you were looking for the first fanfic I made,eh? Well YOU SUCK! I already removed it. I permanently banned it from the human eye. It was a disgrace to mankind.

12. Haha.


	2. Chapter 2: The Do Not Read This Chapter

That awkward moment when you thought this was the fanfic but it wasn't.

I had a real good time making fun of you. Thank you for making it easy.

Oh?! Giving me the mid-fing eh? Then what? You're gonna close this tab and surf the net on how to kill an awesome author?

Fine. I don't need you.

Hahaha. I know you can't leave me. I'm too irresistable.

So let's have a talk.

You know how the Fifth book in the series left us like a cliffhanger? Not in a bad cliffhanger as in a good cliffhanger. It left us with so many questions that could never be answered. Man! Dang it! It was the most beautiful book I have read. I fell in love with it. I wanted to kiss psuedonymous bosch for making that.

Well as an author, well really not a real one, I'm mean I'm real for goodness sake! But yeah you get the point?

I would never do that to you because I know how it feels like.

I know most of you will skip this and go straight to the real story. Well for those who didn't skip this. You have an advantage.

And this is it.

"I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE FREAKING AWESOME!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Test

This is the cliffhanger page.

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So technically I totally betrayed you.

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But if you're still here and reading this right now. I will tell you a secret.

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You ready?

This is a test!

A test to see if you are really enthusiastic in reading this! :)

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Well for those who are here and reading this sentence bit by bit..

You get an A plus and a shiny gold star for that!

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Ok. That's enough trolling for the day. Let's get to the big guns.


	4. Chapter 4: A Small Matter About A Bike

It was a quiet and peaceful morning at the Xxxxx Xxxxx subdivision. Everyone was sound a sleep.

Except for this boy.

"Young man! If you don't get your butt down here I'll burn every piece of chocolate we have!"

"Great! We'll have tons of melted chocolate then!"

"I'll drag you out of there if you don't come down this instance!"

"Seriously Mom?! I know you won't do that!"

"Try me!"

"Ok."

"Ohh! You're gonna get it!"

The mother stormed through the boy's room.

"Max-ernest! Get out of bed!"

"Why?!"

"You have a class to attend to!"

"No!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah!"

You know what happend next? Maybe you can relate on this.

"Gahhhh! Mom! Stop pulling me! My butt is going to be exposed! Stop!"

"Well better get your freaking tiny butt out of bed!"

"Ok, Mom! I'll get out of bed, for crying out loud!"

"If you don't come down in 5 minutes I will ban you from eating chocolate!"

"Ok, mom! Jeez.. Chill! I'll come down. Good Morning,by the way."

"Awww... How sweet..Well, Good morning to you too honey!"

Then M.E.'s mother gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead then left his room.

Before coming down he gave an eye tearing-heart felt-relatable goodbye speech to his beloved bed.

"You know bed? I think you're the world's most powerful magnet! I just can't be separated from you. Dang it!I will come for you okay? I'll come back. Please don't go. We'll sort this out later. I hope things aren't over for us."

"I love you."

Max-ernest took one more look of his bed then remorsefully marched down stairs. While walking, Max-ernest smelled something that made his stomach roar.

"Hmgh.." moaned Max-ernest.

A few more steps.

"Is that,what I think it is?"

"Holy cow."

"It's freaking hot chocolate and chocolate sandwich."

"I love you, Mom!"

"What did you say Max-ernest? Mommy can't hear you Paul-Clay is crying like a baby!"

"Mom! But he is a baby!"

"What?!"

"Nothing!"

"Ok sweetie. Finish your food before going to school okay?"

"Yeah mom!"

In a blink of an eye Max-ernest's breakfast was *boom* gone. Just like a magic trick. *boom*

After like 10 minutes Max-ernest was already done and he was about to go to school. Just like a magic trick *boom*

Seriously?! Like how on earth do boys do that stuff? It's like one minute they were sleeping and the next they're already finish? WTF? Ok back to the story.

"Bye mom!"

He quickly ran out. Just like a magic trick *boom*

_dingdong..dingdong..dingdong.._

Then the wooden door screeched open revealing a pointy-eared girl. Wait for it.

With a stern face.

"Good Morni-what now?" Max-ernest said.

"Do you know how many minutes you've been late, huh doofus?" she said.

"What? I was exactly on time! Well it's not that bad. Right?"

"Yeah! If 5 minutes wasn't bad for you, your highness!"

"Oh come on! It was only five minutes!"

"What happened?"

"Well my mom had a real hard time in separating me from my bed, so yeah."

"I don't care! You should have use an alarm clock or a thingy device!"

"Seriously, Cass? Are you like the principal now? Take your mask off Mrs. Johnson."

"Really funny, Max-ern- oh shoot. Oh shoot!"

"Huh?! What?"

Then Cass dragged Max-ernest and ran as fast as she could. She was like a Kenyan competing for the olympics or some sort.

"Cass? What the hell?"

"Doofus! Look at your watch!"

"The bus leaves like on 7:20 am,Cass! It's like 7:05am! Wait what the? Oh Shoot me Lord! It takes like 20 minutes to walk from here to the bus stop!"

"We won't make it in time Max-ernest!"

"Oh god!"

"Come on M.E. use your powers!"

Then an innocent little girl passed by. She was eating a three scooped ice cream on a cone while playing with the newest set of barbie dolls in the whole town. And by her side was her rainbow like-unicorn filled-heart covered-sparkly-glittery bike.

"Hey little girl how much for your beautiful bike?" asked Max-ernest.

"20 dollars, Mr. Porcupine" Not as innocent as we thought she would be.

"Wait! Hold it now! Hold it now! 20 freaki- uhmp! Ouch!"

Cass gave him a punch that will surely leave a mark.

"Here's the money little girl."

"What? Have you lost your mind? This is against the law! It's overpri-"

"Max-ernest! Just give me 10 freaking dollars for goodness sake!"

"But-"

Without even saying a word he forcefully gave his lunch money for the week.

"Don't worry M.E. Will get our payback later. I assure you. For now just put on a happy face and flow with my plan." she whispered.

"Okay. I hope you have a really good plan about this!" he whispered back.

"Okay that's our payment."

"20 dollars?" the girl asked.

"20."

"Fine then. You can go with my bike."

"Before we leave, just a little question. How much is your ice cream?" Cass asked.

"2 dollars! Bet you can't buy this because you two are poor!"

"Hell yeah we are."

"Umm, Cass hate to interrupt you in your little chitchat over there but it's 7:15am!"

"Shut up!" Cass shouted.

"How about your barbie dolls? How much does that cost?"

"20 dollars."

A wide grin spread across Cass's face.

Then Cass "accidentally" pushed the little girl's arm causing for her three scooped ice cream to fall on her face as well as on her 20-dollar barbies.

In three..two..one *boom*

The not-so-innocent girl cried hysterically as if the world was about to end or even worse.

"Bye little girl!" Cass said sarcastically.

"Now that's what you call overpricing!" Max-ernest said and offered a high five from Cass.

"How bout' that?" she then winked at him.

"I totally love yo- I mean not love-love you. Yeah you get the point!"

"Ok, I guess? I told you we were going to get our reven- Fudge! Move your butt! We're going to be really late!"

"Hold on tight ,Cass!"

Then the bike zoomed off like it had rockets.

"Damn you, Max-ernest!"

Every corner, every kid, every person looked at them like they were from hollywood or something.

"Max-ernest do you have a spell on how to delete everybody's minds?"

"Wish I had one Cass, I wish I had."

"Well, dang it then."

They finally arrived just as the bus's door was about to close. The two rode the bus just to see everyone laughing at them including Yo-yoji. They were taunting them with names such as Rainbow pals, Pink duo, Sparkle friends and even worse.. GAY. It totally made Cass and Max-ernest turn into red.

Cass then shouted.

"Please just shut up,okay? You don't know what we have been through!"

"Yeah you don't know! We were just robbed by an innocent girl! She was breaking the law! It says according to the repub-"

"Shut up,M.E. and just sit down!" she said exhaustedly.

"Okay. Chill."

"Now to find a seat."

"Hey, Cass! There's a seat over there! But only one of us can sit down."

"Then you sit down!" she said being the survivalist and all eventhough she was really tired from running.

"Seriously? You go or I'll really carry you there!"

"As if you can!"

"Want a bet?"

"Really, Max-ernest? You can't even lift your own backpack!"

"Pshhh.. you underestimate me!"

He then warmed up. Then *boom* he carried Cass like a princess to her seat. Just like a magic trick. *boom* Cass didn't get the chance to refuse because of shock. He then put Cass down on her seat.

"Oh my gosh. I think I broke a tendon!"

"AYIIIEEEIEIEIEIEIEIE!" the students teased.

Now their faces turned redder than before. They both blushed like crazy.

"I totally hate you." Cass said.

"A simple thank you would be pretty much appreciated."

"Sorry, thank you by the way. You're a real gentleman."

"You bet I am. Ouch!"

"Hey, yo! Are you alright?" Yo-yoji asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

"Gentleman." he said sarcastically.

"Pfft." Max-ernest answered.

"BTW! You totally gotta tell me the sick story behind you and Cass riding that awful bicyc- What the hey hey?"

Then a not-so-pretty girl entered the bus just before they were about to leave. Well you know she is not ugly-ugly. She is pretty, I mean every girl is pretty,right? but she is just like any other oridinary girl. That is why we will call her the not-so-pretty girl for a while.

"Oh, seriously! Just move this freaking bus!" the students complained.

Everyone then shut up their mouths when this not-so-pretty lady passed by.

"I'm sorry I'm late." the not-so-pretty girl said.

Yo-yoji's eyes were like popping out and his jaws were wide open.

Cass then pointed out Yo-yoji. Max-ernest saw Yo-yoji's reaction and he was sure that Yo-yoji was totally grossed out by the girl. Everyone started gossiping about her. Some even laughed at her.

You see, in Cass's and Max-ernest's school "pretty" is defined as girls who have long blonde-ish hair, slim bodies, faces which are covered with make up, girls with the newest set of designer clothes and lips which are smeared with different flavored smoochies. Well for the the not-so-pretty girl she was the opposite of that. She had braces, glasses, clothes that don't match at all and she always carries books.

Everyone started laughing and making fun of this girl. Except for Cass and Max-ernest.

"Hey, Cass look! The girl is being made fun of!" ME pointed out.

"That is not very nice! I mean she is pretty!"

"Oh. Guess I'll be standing up.." the not-so-pretty girl said.

Cass then looked at Yo-yoji. She wanted him to give the seat to the not-so-pretty girl. Yo-yoji hesitated. But you know how girls rule the world right? So yeah Yo-yoji reluctantly gave up his seat.

"Hey! You there!" Yo-yoji shouted-


	5. Chapter 5: The Best Chapter Ever

Hmm? What? Oh I'm sorry. Chocolate break. Hehehehe. Ummm do you want some? Here it's dark. No? Oh okay. Huh? The story? Ohh the story! Uh. Huh. Well. Hmm. Er- okay I have a confession to make! I think I wrote the continuation of the story at some part of this chapter. Hehehehe. Well sorry! Come on you can take a look. I won't bite. Or won't I?

Hey! Don't read anything except for the part that you're looking for. Or maybe you should not read that part too. Well, that's up to you if you want to read it and become a freaking spoiler. It's your choice, bro.

* * *

Have you read it? Cool right? Misdirection.

Now that you've read that, you can proceed with this totally epic and awesome fanfic.

* * *

"Kids! It's time to go to school! Come on everybody get out of the bus!" shouted Mr. School Bus Driver.

Students with sleepy, tired, forced, sorrowful faces marched out of the bus one by one.

"Oh No. It's time to go to hell." Cass said.

"Nice one, Cass." Max-ernest answered

"Thank you very much!" she said proudly.

"I just don't get school. It teaches you things that you will ever so slightly use in the future."

He has a point, right? Who knew brainiacs hate school too?

"Yeah! I totally agree with you. By the way, where on earth is Yo-yoji?"

"Hey! Yo-yoji! Come on here!" he shouted.

"Yo-yoji! Were right here!"

When ME finally caught Yo-yoji's attention. Yo-yoji walked towards them.

"Yo! Saw the ugly girl?"

"What? I didn't see any ugly girls pass by." Max-ernest replied.

"Wait a sec! Is the girl you're talking about the one who came late?" asked Cass.

"Hell yeah!"

"That's not nice!" Cass scolded.

"Yeesh! What happened to you, yo?!"

Worst. Part. Of. The. School. (Bet you read that longer than you should have.)

The CLASSROOM.

"Gooooooood Moooooooorniiing, Teacher Xxxx!"

"What the? You are now freshmen! Fix your greeting or we'll have a pop quiz today. And for your information it's Miss not Teacher."

"Good Morning, Ms. Xxxx!"

"That's better!"

"Before we get started we have a new classmate today. She originally lives in England. We accepted her enrollment eventhough it was late because of her outstanding IQ and we truly think that she could catch up with our past lessons."

Yo-yoji was casually listening to his Ipod like he wasn't even in the school campus.

"Hello, everyone! My name is Yssabelle Olivia Unice or YOU for short. I live in England.

"That is the girl they were all laughing at, right?" ME pointed out.

"You think?!" Cass said.

"Well, sorry!"

"It's fine."

"She is not ugly! Not that I like her or anything. I mean every girl is pretty. She is pretty, that girl is pretty, that other girl is pretty, Ms. Xxxx is pretty, Mel is pretty, you are pret- I mean nothing!"

Cass turned pink which made Max-ernest grin a little bit.

"Umm..so.. are you like related or something?" she said to break the awkwardness between them.

"Huh? Why?" ME asked.

"Slow poke. She has three names, for crying out loud!"

"Ohh. Maybe we are RELATIVES!

"Hahahahahaha!"

"Hold it! When you combine all the first letters on her name it's spelled as YOU! And I am ME! So it will be like "YOU and ME!"

"Seriously, Max-ernest?!"

The girl continued introducing herself.

"I'm 13 years old. My hobby is reading books and biking. I also like listening to-"

Well you know every secret has to be revealed.

"Ehem! Mr. Yo-yoji. Give me your Ipod. Now." Teache- I mean Ms. Xxxx furiously commanded.

Yo-yoji left with no other choice gave up his life I mean, his Ipod.

"Yo-yoji, next time be respectful when somebody is talking in front!"

"What? Who was talking?"

"Your new classmate."

"Wh-"

"Not another word! You're wasting our time! You can have your Ipod when classes end."

"Ok, Teacher Xxxx."

"What did you say?"

"I mean Ms. Xxxx."

"That's settled then, young lady you can have a seat beside... Hmmm beside Yo-yoji!"

Max-ernest and Cass then looked at each other with wide grins on their faces.

"Is there a problem Max-ernest and Cass?"

"None, Ms. Xxxx" they both said.

"Who the hell is our new classmate that I will be sitting beside with?! I hate her. She put me into trouble!" Yo-yoji said to himself.

YOU then walked to her seat beside Yo-yoji.

"Hi!" YOU said.

"Hell- OH MY GOD?! What the?"

"Huh? Is there something wrong?"

"You again?!"

"Sorry for your Ipod though..."

"Nothing you can do about it!"

"My name is YOU."

"My name is- what the? Huh?! What is your name agai-"

"Mr. Yo-yoji please stop blabbering! I have a very important annoucement to say! For that you'll have detention!"

"Yes, Miss."

The not-so-pretty girl slipped a note to Yo-yoji which said-

_**I'm so sorry.. :(**_

Yo-yoji then replied

_**Thanks for the sick detention**_

YOU frowned.

"It's only my first day and everbody is already mad at me." she sighed.

"Okay class! Listen up we will have a field trip on friday. The administrative office will be handing out letters with reply slips at the bottom. Every one is expected to participate. All the rules,regulations,schedule and things that you need to bring will be in the letter. You have to pay 5 dollars each for the transportation. All reply slips and payments are required to be submitted before Friday. You'll be wearing your P.E. uniforms during the trip. Any questions?"

"Miss, do we have seating arrangements?" YOU asked.

"No, dear it will be a first come first serve thingy. You can pick whoever you want to sit with."

"Oh, Thank you!"

"You're welcome!"

"Are we clear about this?"

"Yes, Miss." the class said.

Then Ms. Xxxx started writing on the board. Something eye popping. A POP QUIZ. Get it? Get it? Like you know popping and Pop quiz? Yeah I'm just gonna shut up.

The students started whining, banging their heads on the tables, studying as fast they can and praying so hard to God that they would not fail this freaking test.

"The more you complain, the more the items will get harder!"

Everybody turned into little angels.

"I hope this is about being a survivalist!" Cass said.

"Quiz? This won't even help me in my dream in becoming a writer." ME complained.

"Noo! gods of cheating please help me!" Yo-yoji pleaded.

"This will be as easy as eating a cake!" YOU said confidently.

Want to know their scores?

Nah. Too tired.

What? You want me to tell you?

I don't have the scores.

Ms. Xxxx has it!

Want me to sneak up to her and get the scores, eh!?

Nice thinking.

But still,

No.

_ring..ring..ring.._

Lunch time!

"Goodbye, Class! I will be expecting you, Mr. Yo-yoji in the office later!"

Then Ms. Xxxx slammed the door which made the students party like there's a club inside except for Yo-yoji.

"Oh. Crud! I really wanted to go home early today!" Yo-yoji said.

"Umm.. Yo-yoji, I'll try to talk to Ms. Xxxx if you really want to go home." YOU offered.

"Don't even try, yo! things will only get sick." Yo-yoji harshly answered.

"Okay.. Sorry for troubling you.." after that she quietly walked away.

"Hey! Yo-yoji! Be nice. She is only trying to help you." Cass scolded.

"Yeah, what's with the attitude?" ME questioned.

"Well you know, peeps? Know what she did?! She got me to detention! That's sick!"

"You and her were talking so technically, you also got yourself in trouble." Max-ernest said.

"Hmph.. I don't know Yo-yoji. She is a very nice girl."

"Okay, okay.. I'll say sorry to her later.. Jeez, chill!"

At the canteen-

The three friends had lunch.

Cass spotted YOU then looked at Yo-yoji.

"Well?"

"Alright."

Yo-yoji sheepishly walked up to YOU.

"YOU!"

"Me?" YOU asked.

"No, YOU!"

"What?"

"Whatever."

"I just wanted to say-"

A quick moment. Guys, umm can I have one request? Can i just type Yoji? Yo-yoji is too long!

What no?

Oh come on!

Please?

Really?

Wait! I'm the author I can write anything I want!

Burn.

Huh? What? I win? Yeah totally.

Oh.. Okay you want the story back?

Well what if I don't want?

I'm the author by the way.

Joke.

Okay here it is.

Troll.

Now.

"I just wanted to say- I'm"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"Nothing! I said I hate you!" after that Yoji stomped away from YOU.

_ring..ring..ring.._

P.E. Time!

"Okay! Listen up! Boys stay here. Girls go to the other side!"

"Bye, Cass.. I'll miss you." said ME.

"Huh,what?"

"Well Sir Xxx said you should go to the _other side! _Like you know the other side? The other side! Get it? Get it? Okay."

"Really funny, Max-ernest!"

"Arrange yourselves according to your height."

The students glumly and slowly arranged themselves which pretty much was a bad idea.

"Move your a $#%! Come on! If in ten secs you are still not in line you will all get a grade of 65! Hurry up!"

The kids then turned into like the road runner.

"Are the number of girls and boys even?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Now, get the person you're aligned with!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Come on!"

Cass was partnered up with-

Hey! Got some good news for you! I strangled Ms. Xxxx then stabbed her to death to get the scores. It was very fun watching her bleed until she died. Yeah, one thing you didn't know about me is I have 6 criminal records for murder, carnapping and robbery.

Nah, just kidding!

But seriously.

Max-ernest - 36/35

Cass- 28/35

Yoji- 20/35

Yssabelle Olivia Unice- 40/35

^ this kid is the bomb ^

Huh? Who was partnered up with Cass?

Oh okay.

You want me, the greatest author in history tell you that?

What? I'm very boastful eh? Well fine! No story then!

Alright! I give up.

You really want to know?

Come on!

Let's see then!

Cass was partnered up with her stepbrother-

Daniel-not-Danielle.

Max-ernest was partnered up with- _eek._

Veronica.

Yoji was partnered up with- _yay!_

Yssabelle Olivia Unice.

And YOU was obviously partenered up with-

Glob.

Nah, just kidding! With..

Yoji!

"The person whom you were aligned with will be your partner. We will participate in the Xxxxxxx Xxxx Xxxx contest. This will be scheduled on March Xx, that would be two weeks from now. We will also give out letters regarding the said activity. All queries will be in the letter. There is nothing to pay for. I repeat there is nothing to pay for. All I need is your parent's approval for you to join. So now you have 2 reply slips to return, one for the field trip and one for the contest. Since the reply slips and payments for the field trip are due tomorrow, I expect that the contest reply slips will also be returned tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tommorow. Okay? Any one who forgot, lost, or damaged their reply slip will automatically get a 65! Am I understo"

Hmm? What did you say? What's the name of the contest?! Are you absurd?!

Putting the name of the contest will be a true danger for Cass, ME and Yoji!

Oh, now you hate me?

What if you kidnap ME and flirt with him all day? (no way on earth am I ever going to give Max-ernest to you! He's mine!) LOL.

Or what if you make fun of Cass's elf ears?!

And what if you take a sneak peak into Yoji's collection of sneakers?

Oh that's how you want it then? Then leave!

(please don't)

Okay, you're right. I'll just move on to this freakin' story.

"Yes, sir!"

"Class dismissed!"

The students then quickly ran out of the school's gym.

Another 6 hours of hell- I mean school passed by. Homeworks went crazy. But after a long tiring day, there is nothing more pleasurable than to hear, CLASS DISMISSED!

"Nerd! Four eyes! Dork! Jerk!" this were the words all YOU can hear.

Haha.

Yoji then looked at her. He wanted to do something, but what? And why?

"What the heck? Why would I want to help her?! She deserves it."

"Oh wait. I got detention. Shoot."

Ms. Xxxx spotted and walked up to Yoji.

"Ms. I'm ready for detention."

Ms. Xxxx laughed.

"No detention for you, young man."

"What?"

"Thank your seatmate for that." she walked away leaving Yoji confused.

Yoji thought. My seatmate? Who? The nerd?!

"Eh. Who cares? I'm still mad at her."

"Yoji! Want to walk home with us?" a porcupi- I meant Max-ernest asked.

"Do you want?" Cass questioned again.

"No, you two walk home. I need some time."

He was still very confused. Is she good or bad? Or maybe a bad face with a good heart? or a bad face with a bad heart?

Haha.

"She is somehow pretty. What. The. Fudge. Did I say that?!" Yoji shockingly thought to himself.

"You sick?"

"No, just- nothing."

"Woah. Okay?"

"Bye!"

"Bye."

ME and Cass started walking back home.

"What happened to Yoji?" Cass asked.

"PMS."

"Hahahahaha. So funny that nobody laughed."

"Pfft. Whatever. Haters gonna hate."

"Potatoes gonna potate."

"Tomatoes gonna tomate."

"Alligators gonna alligate."

"Hmm. Okay I'm all out of -gonna "ate" jokes. Haha. Wait a minute. Cass! Look! The girl that sold her bike to us is still crying her butt off!"

"Lol!"

They then walked towards the little girl. Her hair and toys were still covered with icky Ice-cream.

"Hi! Little girl! I see you're in a sticky situation there."

"Hahahahaha! Ohhhhh! Burnnnnn! Nice one, Max-ernest!"

"Next time kid, don't mess with smart guys!"

"Yeah!"

The not-so-innocent girl stopped crying. Insulting her was a pretty bad idea.

"Smart guys, eh? Let us see if you can use your calculus and algebra in solving this problem!"

Woah. That kid knows calculus? My whole life is a lie.

Three beastly dogs came out with furious looks on their doggy faces.

"Scruffy, Poochie, and Spotty attack them!" and at the not-so-innocent girl's command the three dogs chased Max-ernest and Cass.

"Wait! We can talk this out right? I'm a reasonable man."

"Just shut up, ME! And run!"

"But the dogs are gonna chase us more!"

"FYI they'll also bite your butt off if you don't run, so might as well run!"

The two started running for their dear lives. Oh snap. Worst case scenario. Of all things? Why did Cass have to slip on a puddle and hurt her leg when three monsters were chasing them?!

Haha.

"Oh man?! Dang it, Cass!"

"Ouch! Well run! Leave me here! Just come back when I'm already dead!"

What was he supposed to do? He can't leave her. He either save himself and regret it forever or die with Cass happily forever after. Woah, rhymes.

"Come on Max-ernest, think!" he said to himself.

Then a crazy idea popped out of Max-ernest's mind.

"I know this is a CRAZY idea but- just-umm-err- come on!"

"What the hell? Bring me down ME! You carried me enough for one day!"

Yup, you guessed it of course ME will carry Cass. Remember? He is a true gentleman!

"Well, I can't leave you there and get eaten by dogs! I just can't! And this is the only thing I can think of right now that will save me and you!"

Cass turned red. She just held on to ME and didn't say a word.

Max-ernest ran and ran until he lost sight of the dogs.

"I think we're losing them!"

"Oh god! Thank you!"

"Hey ME! There's a bench over there. Let's sit down for a minute."

He gently brought Cass down and sat her on the bench. He stretched out his muscles. He can't believe he did that again!

"I just carried Cass. Woah." he thought.

"Oh my gosh ME. You look so tired.. I'm so sorry. I'm too fat."

"No, you're not. You're perfe- I mean I'm just wimpy."

"Wimpy?! You just ran while carrying me with your -bigger than you- school bag."

"Hahahaha."

Max-ernest whipped his water bottle out and drank. Kinda.

"NO! Where's the water!"

Cass checked hers and it was full.

"I have water!"

Without saying a word, Max-ernest chugged down Cass's water jug. Halfway drinking, he spat out the water. His eyes were wide open, he was so red and he was also breathing heavily.

"Huh?! What happened to you!?"

"Ind-i-r-ect..."

Max-ernest was shaking.

"What?

"Indi-r-e-ct..."

"Indirect what?!"

"In-dire-ct..."

"Damn it!"

"Kiss!"

"Kiss? Indirect?"

"Indirect kiss!"

They both turned red.

"Give me my bottle!"

"Here you go..."

"Ouch.."

"Huh? What happened?!"

"Nothin- ouch."

"Oh that's right you hurt your leg. Let me take a look t it."

"No! I'm not hurt! Don't you dare! I'll punch your guts out if you do that!"

"I don't care if you punch me or kill me. The only thing I care about is you. And I really mean that."

Cass beamed turning red which made Max-ernest grin.

"Let's get that injury fixed. Can I borrow your First Aid Kit?"

"I can do it! You don't have to help."

"Cass.. Please let me do this."

"Hmmm.. Okay."

He quickly patched Cass up.

"We need to get going. It's almost dark."

"Are you sure you can stand up?"

"Yeah."

"Really sure? I can carry you again."

"Hahaha. Thanks, but no. I can do this. I can handle myself."

"Hmmmphh.."

"Max-ernest... Please let me do this."

"Okay. But I'll still guide you, if that's okay..."

"Yeah. Sure.."

They walked down the street. It was getting a little bit cold. The wind was embracing them.

"Sure is chilly tonight.. Brrrr..."

"Are you cold?"

"You think?"

"Here. Have my jacket." he shyly offered.

"Ummm.. No, you don't have to do that."

"I won't accept NO for an answer. So might as well take my jacket."

"Pffft. Okay, okay. I'll accept your so-called offer. Hey, just wanna ask, what's with you suddenly being a gentleman and stuff, it's creeping me out a bit."

"What? Gentleman?! Me? Oh no, no, no. I was just-you-know-er-umm.. concerned."

She stood there trying to absorb what she just heard. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks.

_Hoot..Hoot..Hoot.._

"What was that?!"

"Yeesh. It's just an Owl ME."

"Yeah, right.. Just an owl."

"I heard a legend around here. When night time falls a mysterious creature comes out from this exact street we're walking through..."

"Stop scaring the crap out of me Cass!"

"... It wanders around and eats...

"Stop it! Or I'm seriously gonna flip out!"

"... villagers. They called it Octopus Man. The people said that they saw something with eight legs, three long tongues and green vicious eyes..."

Then a twig broke which made Max-ernest like literally flip out.

"AHHHHH!"

He hugged Cass for dear life.

"Hahahaha! Can't believe you totally fell for that!"

"Laugh all you want! I don't care!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

She then noticed that. Yeah. He and ME were pretty much hugging in the middle of the street.

"Max-ernest.. You can let go now.."

"I'm not letting go until you promise me that you'll stop making this spooky stories."

"Okay, fine."

"I'm sorry for me hugging you, and me getting scared, and me being a gent-"

"Okay, it's fine. It was a really nice hu- I mean there's my house! Look!"

Max-ernest as always, beamed again.

"Yeah! Finally!"

_dingdong..dingdong..dingdong.._

The wooden door screeched open.

"And what took you so long, young lady?! Didn't I tell you call me when you're going home late?! I was worried you were eaten by Octopus Ma- oh.. Hi, Max-ernest! Hihihihi! I'll just excuse myself. I'm just gonna leave the two of you there and talk.." and then she winked at both of them.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for Mel.. She kinda has some problems."

"Wait. Did she say Oc-to-to-pus Ma-n?"

"Yeah? Are you scared? Oh my gosh. Come on ME it's just a legend. Don't tell me you the great logical Max-ernest, would believe in a story foolish like that?"

"Me? Of course not! I was just asking! I wasn't even scared a bit!"

"Sure, "not scared"." she said with a sarcastic tone.

"It's true!"

"Okay, okay. Hahahahahaha!"

"Pfffffft..."

"Umm.. I know this may sound crazy but can I keep the jacket?"

"My jacket?"

"Yeah. I'll just wash it."

"Ohh.. Okay. If you insist."

"So I think this is goodbye then."

"Yup, Bye Cass! See you tomorrow! Get well soon!"

"Bye too! Don't let the Octopus Man eat you!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha.. Yeah... As if he was real. Pfft." he said with a unsure tone.

"Hey! Max-ernest! Wait a sec, ummm-err- I know this may sound really really really super duper really crazy but... Max-ernest you're...The best."

After that she gave Max-ernest a parting..

A. Gift

B. Kick

C. Slap

D. Kiss

If you answered letter D.. Well you're wrong. The answer is letter E.

A warm hug.

They're too young for that mushy stuff. They're like freshmen for goodness sake. Here's a bridge, now get over it.

The small wooden door shut close.

What time is it? It's Smile from ear to ear and Blush time.

ME walked back home with a great big fat smile on his face.

Let's get back to Cass. Shall we?

"I see you had a little intimate date with Max-ernest, eh? You know if you're going out on a date make sure to call me! I was worried, you know? And remember books before boys! Okay?"

"Pfft. Okay, Mel. I get it. Now please stop snickering."

"Hahahaha. Okay, goodnight, sugar lumps!"

"Yeesh. Goodnight too, Mel! This was indeed one of the most memorable nights I had ever experienced."

"What?"

"Nothing! I said I love you!"

"Okay honey! Love you too!"

Cass happily walked to her room with a great big fat smile on her face as well.

The end.

* * *

**A/N: Hi ! :D I would like to thank everybody that read this fanfic! :) I hope you enjoyed it! I would really love to see what you think about this fanfic! So feel free to post your reviews! :D**

**Dear Chocolate, thanks for inspiring me to write this epic fanfic.**

**Lol. Hahahahahaha! XD**

**But in all seriousness, thank you! I had a lot of fun while doing this! :)**

**I love you all! :3**

**STAY AWESOME! :)**

**Until we meet again! **

**Bye, totally cool readers!**

**Or is it really goodbye?**

**How about a deal? I'll add more chapters if I atleast get 3 reviews.**

**Deal?**

**Okay.**

**THIS IS GOODBYE UNTIL I HAVE MY THREE REVIEWS.**

**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :D**

***PURE EVIL**

* * *

***DO NOT READ THIS**

**I just said do not read it right?**

**Go away! You'll have 4 years of bad luck!**

**STOP READING THIS INSTANCE.**

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

You've found it! But I did my best to persuade you right? What? No? I'm stupid and dumb for doing that? I should have just wrote the chapter where it belonged? Huh?

Well, that's how I roll.

*puts sunglasses on

-"Hey! You there!" Yo-yoji shouted.

The girl froze. Four words. Love. At. First. Sight. (Bet you read that longer than you should have)

"Me?" the not-so-pretty girl asked.

"Yeah you! You can have my seat.. I mean if you want? Eh whatever."

"AYIIIIIIIIEIEIEIEIEIEIEIE" the students teased.

They went red. Like really-really-really red.

The young woman appreciated Yo-yoji's actions.

"I love- I mean tha- thank you very much." the not-so-pretty girl said.

"Whatever." Yo-yoji snobbishly answered.

While standing, Max-ernest tapped on Yo-yoji's back and said

"Gentleman."

"Eww, Bro."

And then the bus drove off at last.


End file.
